Oh great. Today my brother, Rooster got out of prison. Again. And guess who he brought over to meet me? Some ding dong named Lily. He didn't even know what town she was from! I always test people out to see if they can dance before I trust them. She was pretty good. Too young, but at least she can do a box step. But seriously. What is up with my brother? I always hoped he could strike it rich and get me outta this dump. I'll keep ya posted.
Oh, and keep sending me your questions. They're hilarious.
Dear Ms. hannigan,
ReplyDeleteNo offense to you bother but I don't understand why Lilly dates him. He goes to jail like every second!!! Okay maybe that's exaggerating but still. If she went out with a nice guy things might be different for her. Also if you can fins a guy who loves kids it would be perfect! Because then he would love your job and love you!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Rebecca the Performer,
ReplyDeleteHave you SEEN my brother? That's why she dates him. As for his prison record, well ...a guys gotta eat, ya know what I mean? And thanks for the dating advice. I've been trying to find a good man since that loser of a husband left me 20 years ago. But it's not easy finding one who isn't behind bars and still has some hair left.
Love,
Miss Hannigan
Dear Miss Hannigan,
ReplyDeleteI saw you walking down the street the other day. I just thought you should know that you have a big hole in your stockings.
An Admirerer
Dear Anonymous Admirerer,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip. If you really want to help, send me a few bucks so I can buy a new pair!
Love,
Miss Hannigan
Miss Hannigan...
ReplyDeletewhat is your favorite color?
what do you do for fun?
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteWhat's up with this anonymous stuff? Is everyone afraid to be associated with me? Sheesh! Anyway, those are great questions. My favorite color is pink because I've always heard it's flattering to every skin tone and mine is kind of green. As far as what I do for fun. Dance. It's really the only time I have any fun since the rest of my life consists of running a rotten orphanage. And be sure to check out my next blog. It's about my beauty secrets.
Love,
Miss Hannigan
Dear Miss Hannigan,
ReplyDeleteSo I really don't understand how dance can make you trust someone. I think that dancers can be pretty shady characters at times, don't you? I mean, look at yourself for starters!
Don't you want to become friends with your brothers girlfriend? She might want you in the wedding, and you could get a new outfit for it, and dance the night away.
Signed,
Starting to wonder in CA
Dear Wondering in CA,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, dancers are artists. Pure and simple. Have you ever danced???
And B: NO I WILL NOT BE LILY'S FRIEND! She's a shady character. Besides, by the time I'm done with this here letter, Rooster will probably have a new girlfriend.
And #3: If they DO get married, I'll dance all right! Right into their wedding cake! HA!
Love,
Miss Hannigan