Miss Hannigan's Dance in PARIS!

What? Miss Hannigan's dance is now being done in PARIS you say?!? But of course it is! This orphan, who has asked to be nameless, is showing off my moves in Paris. Merci, young orphan. I always knew ya had a lot of talent. And I'm proud that ya took my dance moves to the next level. And I also appreciate your fashion sense. See what all those hours at the sewing machine did for ya? And they say I'm mean. Well, who's laughing now? Keep it up, Laura Mahler. Ya got a real future, I'll tell ya! Au revoir!

Love,
Miss Hannigan

MISS HANNIGAN'S BEAUTY SECRETS



BEFORE



AFTER

I don't usually share my beauty secrets. But my mailbox is overloaded with letters asking me how I stay so gorgeous with such a stressful job. So I'll tell ya a few of 'em. Here goes:

1. Always wear hose. Especially when you haven't shaved in a while.
2. Always accessorize. I never go anywhere without my pearls and earrings.
3. Always wear a dress, ladies. I saw some broad in pants the other day and almost blew my whistle at her. The next thing ya know ladies will be joining the Navy! Sheesh!
4. The more make-up the better I always say.
5. I change my beauty mark everyday. It keeps people wondering where it's going to be next. But here's the trick. It has to be just the right size. If it's too big it looks like a wood tick is on your face. And that's not attractive. As you can see from the "before" picture, my beauty mark was too small and it threw off my whole day. In the "after" picture it was just right. Even Grace Farrell and Annie couldn't compete with me.
6. Those who say real beauty is in the inside never saw roadkill.